Bob’s letter from the tandem: I fear it could be my last!

Hi Ya All

I have got the two oldies pushing this machine south at a far more impressive rate and I am penning this letter from a place called Rakaia Gorge in Canterbury. Yep, we are on the mainland. Anyway, a lot has happened since my last letter so best I get on with my update.

A long time ago, well it seems like it to me, as we pedalled out of a place called Porangahau, we came to another place called, are you ready? Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
I ran out of breath trying to pronounce it. Apparently it is the longest place name in the World but there is a bit of argy bargy over that as the Welsh think they have a longer one. As they say in that part of the country, yeah right!

I felt at home as we pedalled through an area called Wairarapa as there were lots of pine forests which us grizzly bears feel at home in. Once we got past a place called Pongaroa, our ride on to Masterton and the Featherston was drama free. Why? Not too many hills but it was starting to get colder than this grizzly had ever felt. We had to go over a track called The Remutaka Rail Trail and as we came down that hill I nearly froze my paws off. Us grizzlies hibernate in winter and are not cut out for freezing weather. The RA said that maybe I should become a polar bear because it was going to get even colder. I sneaked her phone and looked up polar bears and they eat fish and seals, yuk. I will stick to my honey.

We got to Upper Hutt and stayed with the GOTFs brother. I felt sorry for him because he was older and the GOTF can be really annoying, I hate to imagine what he was like when he was a pesky younger brother. Anyway, Ron(the brother) has a neighbour who was also called Bob and he came over. Everyone was joking that they now had 2 Bob. I didn’t get the joke.

After a days rest (boy did I need it) we briefly joined the Hikoi in Wellington before crossing Cooks Strait on the Ferry which was delayed due to a technical problem.( I wanted to ask the GOTF what it was like to have his kind of luck- not).

Our ride from Blenheim to Camden Station was a bit of a disaster. I tried to tell the GOTF it was a waste of time trying to get through road closures but it fell on deaf ears. Anyone would think I was mute or something. Then a cop stopped us on State Highway1 on a massive hill and I thought he was going to rescue me, I was certainly prepared to resign my assignment and just become an Angel Bear again. All he wanted to do is tell us to hunker down because a massive hail storm was heading our way. I spent the rest of the ride trying to keep up team moral. Then guess what, we ran out of battery. Yep GOTF’s luck keeps getting better and better. I was exhausted and my paws were nearly dropping off either from holding on for dear life or from the cold. Then he starts talking to me and the RA about resilience and I’m thinking, if he mentions that word again I might do something that we all might later regret – or maybe not.

From Camden to Middlehurst Station we climbed around a 1000m and I was now thinking the GOTF’s insane, but Middlehurst was bliss and luxury. I tried to make friends with an orphaned lamb which I named Rambo because he was a boy. Rambo was a determined little blighter who wanted to be fed and insisted on gate crashing our room to get his point across. Now there’s only so much a bear will put up with and it didn’t include sharing my dinner and bed with a lamb. “See ya later Rambo”.

They also had a fox terrier named George. We made friends at first until he started stealing all the limelight and attention and greasing up to the RA. Then the next day when we left Middlehurst, George decided to come with us. Not only did he think that he was part of the team but I had fears he was going to muscle in on my leadership role, especially when he started leading us along the road. We tried telling him to “GO HOME GEORGE”, but he was deafer than the GOTF and that’s saying something. We tried to outrun him by peddling as fast as we could but that dogs got legs. Speedy Gonzales had nothing on him. What was he on!!! After 10.5 kms we thought” This guys in for the long haul”. Then the RA spotted a ute coming the opposite way and managed to wave them down and asked if they could take George back home. They didn’t seem too keen at first but George turned on the charm and the next thing he was sitting in the front passenger seat on someone’s knee all cuteness and wagging his tail set for a new adventure with a new family. Boy could he“put on the dog” that George. In a shot he’d ditched us- absolutely no loyalty that George, none at all. I could never understand why he’d left the luxury of Middlehurst in the first place. Given the choice I wouldn’t.

Next stop Acheron where the GOTF triumphantly pulled out this flimsy tent and declared, “This is what we are sleeping in tonight”. Then the RA and the GOTF started putting on as many clothes as they could find. What about me? I’ve only got a fur jacket. 5 degrees that night. I froze my paws off. It’s official, the GOTF’s insane.

We have finally made it to Hanmer after a steep decline over Jacks Pass where we dropped 500m in approximately 5kms. I used to be a honey coloured bear, now I’m a white bear as in polar white. I’m passing on the passes from now on.

In Hanmer the RA said she wanted to give me a wash and shampoo and blow dry after all the dust on our travels. They’ve been complaining that I’m looking grubby and I’m starting to smell. I’ve told them to go look in the mirror and I smell as sweet as honey. Honestly after all this I’m thankful I’m still alive. I decided go pig out on some honey.

Things looked up after Hanmer, it was all downhill to Waikari, the RA was happier than a bear in honey which is fine as long as it is not my honey.

When we got to Waikari another pesky dog came out and started to try and impress the oldies. His name was Fred and sure enough the RA grabbed me and shoves me at Fred so that we can be mates. He immediately drop the twig in his mouth and lunges at me and if I had not shown some fancy paw moves I would have been in his slobbery mouth. I gave him my fiercest bear stare and he backed off, in fact we didn’t see him again which was fine by me. I am over pushy dogs.

Yesterday the oldies were muttering about needing to hit the pedals early, said it was going to be hot and windy. Well I had them up before the birds started chirping. Organised breakfast for them and packed all their gear. I am trying to make myself indispensable, make them realise that I am a true leader not one of these Georgie-come-lately types.

Well I did my part but when the GOTF went to get the bike it was locked in the beer garden of the hotel that we were staying in. Really! Well, it didn’t go well and we were only getting going an hour and a half after I had planned.

Wow, did it get hot. I wanted to take my fur jacket off like the oldies take their warmer clothes off when it warms up. But no, it is like my skin so I had to sweat it out. Not only that, but it got so windy that we got blown off the road a couple of times. Well that was the story the GOTF was telling but I suspect he had sneaked something while he was in the beer garden rescuing the bike.

Today it was freezing cold again. What is it with the South Island? Hot, cold, hot cold, what is bear to do. I know, I will comfort myself in that honey jar.

Bob.